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I GET LETTERS
18:51 Jun 04 2012
Times Read: 668






I get letters...



Now, I don't think of myself as any kind of expert when it comes to poetry, but as the old saying goes... I know what I like.



And I know what adheres to basic literary guidelines of grammar, punctuation, comprehension -- and aesthetics.



I can count on one hand all the times I have been asked to read someone's poetry and provide feedback. I am simultaneously honored, baffled, and terrified when someone asks me to read their poetry. Again, because of that non-expert thing, and I'm generally fearful of giving an honest opinion even when asked to provide one.



BUT...



Last year I received this, ahem, poem from a member who shall remain anonymous. I say this, dear reader, not out of any high-minded duty to protect their identity, but because I lost the original message after I saved the poem to a Word document. I had planned to mock them mercilessly and publicly, but I am now unable to do so. God, it seems, has intervened to protect the dim-witted.

Again.



I first thought it was some horrible prank, some kind of reference to the 'Twila, da grl who was in luv w a vampir' meme -- surely, no one is this obtuse and talentless. Surely. But since no one ever came forward to admit their prank, I began to suspect it was real. I have posted it below in all its incomprehensible glory.



Enjoy!







From: Xxxxxxxxx (name redacted)



muh poem:

why du i evn try

why want i die

why du i evn kare

why want yu dare tu be yur self

why knt we knw death

her nme is azreal

the angel of death

she kme tu meh in a dream

nd i wanted tu scream

but she said she would bite

so didnt

she said she wanted tu tawk

nd walk so we did nd then we

STOPED......

becusz of the darkness

she said go in nd we will rest

nd then we faded in the black



did yu lyke dhat????????????????









My response: NO! Not at all.